Parental Absenteeism

I vividly remember a newspaper article I read about 'parental absenteeism', which is the frequent absence of parents in the growing up years of their children because of work and other reasons but mostly because of work. The title was 'Parental Absenteeism' in large fonts. Below the title was a picture of a family with a child in the middle holding on to the hands of each parent. The child's face was somber, seemingly alone, and the parents were mere faceless outlines.

I remember it well because for a time, I thought that was me. I belong to a dysfunctional family since my parents separated when I was five years old. As a single parent, my mom had to find work and employment opportunities brought her to Manila while we (I have two siblings) were left under the care of my aunt in Baguio City. I have to admit that growing up in that unconventional situation was difficult and I have my bouts of rebellion. I used to sit outside on a stool at night hoping that the cold would take me (I didn't realize it back then but I had my dramatic moments).

As a response to my perception of being neglected, I used to evade talking to my mom or sulk in the room. I know my mom observed this and I know she feels guilt in leaving us with relatives for five days a week. She works in Manila on weekdays and comes home during the weekends. It is only now that I realized how difficult that was for her.

Now, as an independent and single working woman, I believe I have made peace with my roots, especially with my mom. I appreciate that she is one of the small number of people that understand by eccentricities and one who I can talk to about anything from political issues to the latest showbiz buzz.

Parental absenteeism has achieved a deeper meaning for me. This is not just about parents leaving their children to work but it is also a social reality that shapes people's lives and that families have to contend with. I have no absolute solution in this situation but communication is the key. Don't follow my example of sulking and not speaking to my mom because this is non-productive and even largely self-destructive.

Hail to all the single working parents! I salute your strength and courage!